Sunday, 31 May 2009

one, two, three

Here we are again.

The last few weeks were pretty much intense in almost every meaning, but nothing overcomes heart subjects.

I started off this year almost as cold as I've never been, trying to focus only on those fields i normally give more attention to.

Time flies away with the wind, my friend, and the same wind brings you a lot of sincerely unexpected gifts – some not really 'great'.

And there was me and my personal Barbie. Yes, you might take it as a doll if it sounds comfortably funnier to you.

Exchanging looks, smiles and mutual utter admiration. Nonstop fun. Living was smooth and fine, so much I wouldn't bother going into my routine everyday, forever. It would definitely surpass all my usual stagnation aversion. It was worth it.

My little personal Barbie, however, is cursed – that's the only explanation I can honestly think of.

What do you do when you are standing in the middle of the arena where everything you love and treasure is fighting to death?

What do you do when the gods send you graces just for the horrifying pleasure to increase your pain and torture?

Yes, I can totally understand it's being painful.

Tickets were bought, travelling is not far ahead.

Why? That's what I started to question myself. The union was broken. My personal vows of eternal fidelity met an invincible obstacle.

And the blue sky suddenly turned grey, the happy tune became an orchestra tragedy. And, deep in my heart, a whole mess emerged.

As I said to a friend one of these days, I'm pretty much a Neanderthal when it comes to understanding my feelings. When it's slightly more intense, all becomes a sexual infatuation and the tragedy is started. Sleepless nights apply.

Now the day is coming and I can't forgive, I can't be myself anymore.

Crazy mess inside of me. And it's bringing out the worst of me.


A mutual cordial request, and a sudden friendship was forced into me.

Now I ask, why?

Complain about your business, complain about your personal issues. Do it. I take it as an invitation to come in.

Slow observation what's featured on that playground... Me being a bad kid who wants x-ray glasses.

And then,

Little piece of heaven, angel face.

Forcing myself not to become a stalker again.

Have you counted?

So, this sums up everything on rather an incomplete way.

Hopefully, it gets you, dear reader, to imagine how messy these last few weeks have been to my, er, undergrounds. Yes, I've found myself walking around them lately.

And to those who are leaving, goodbye.

You'll be breaking my heart.

But won't be taking any of me

And that's what we've got for today, just for today.

Best wishes!