Monday, 21 July 2008

I’ve had a little bit too much

Firstly, I've had a little bit too much time away from Dark Pills, LOL.

Well, I'm on academic vacations now, just working and doing my personal stuff. In thesis, no studies.

Things have been taken a bit more loosely and yet way more serious. Bad weather on my mood, especially – and I don't get why – with mommy. Happens, just happens.

My body is hurting a bit, but it's a good cause. My heart, however, insists on its pointless game.

Yesterday was friend's day. The wind blows to an uncertain direction.
Can't see anyone's point, anyone's intention.

When I, foolishly, believe to be getting into a fair deal, my bad luck proves me graciously wrong.

And, still, I just keep on digging, keep on playing fool, playing dead...

My once ray-of-light (something I laugh of having called that dumbass back in those days, LOL) is now an insignificant amount of useless material I like stepping on just for fun and to feel some dirt on my feet.

Yet, I don't seem to be through it all. I still feel the despair, I still look around the world, I still randomly act like a bloody stalker. That makes me scared of myself, and really, really disappointed.
So much I won't lose my time writing about these delete-worthy memories ;)

On the other side of the river, the unbearable cleverness, the distant dreamer, the poignant creator, the darkest pill any doctor is still to prescribe me.

Weird enough, the disgust I had towards that walking interrogation mark – best definition I could find at 1 a.m. of a Monday – is slowly becoming a striking fixation, and, I fear, an intense sexual desire.

Mercy on me!

Meanwhile, memories of a feverish Saturday night keep coming up, eating me inside. And I just dance. /gaga

To relax, however, is always nice to have my few closest friends. Entertainment, happiness, vain words thrown to a candy sky. Few moments only, but life can't be all bitter at all, can it?

Well, a new week has just started, and I can't spend more time writing here, or I won't have any sleep today :P

Nice week, reader!

Nice friend's day, my beloved ones. /bruh, naty and so on.

Monday, 7 July 2008

Third decade, here we are!

Ok, I'm officially 20 years old now.

A brand new decade has started in my life, and putting aside all the possible meaning it can have, I'm pretty happy.

My birthday couldn't have been more wonderful.

Multiple parties, something smelling funny in the air.
Smelling, just smelling, so that I went to face the unknown, apparently broken-hearted.

Good news, good talking, few hugs and a call.


A bit of random messing around, and another call.
I took a deep breath and started getting ready.

Weirdly enough, I was really, really nervous.
How would my day end? How good would that be?
Answers didn't take that long to come.

A friend request, a chic hotel, a fancy restaurant and dearest friends on a table... wait! O__o


And there was I, dancing completely lost to that unison happy birthday tune, dedicated to me, just me.

Happy smiles, comforting spirits.
True angels bringing me to heaven by the most delicious deviltry.

Points connected; truth revealed, nude and crude, to my purest amusement.
From bosses to mama, from professors to friends, all aware of that extensively-planned one single night, that will surely remain on the happiest corners of my mind until it finds the end its life.

And thus, surrounded by truly loved friends, I saw myself stepping into the 20's on biggest and most amazing style.

Though I was told that it was the expected effect, I don't really think that any of them will ever imagine everything that the entire episode meant to me.
I close my eyes and still can feel it all. Unexplainable.

I'm truly thankful, truly ashamed that I may never compensate and truly trying hard to tell myself that I may have had deserved such an overwhelming display of affection.


Well, the third decade of my life has officially started, and I'm willing to live and enjoy it the best I can.

It's time to live! =D

Thank you all, my dearest friends.
My long-lasting love to every single one of you.

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Goodbye, sweet teens years!

Ok, when the night falls upon the July 2nd, a sentence is given: I'm officially older.

One more year passed me by so fast, yet so intensely. So smooth, yet so heartbreaking. So light-pulsing, yet so wonderfully marvellous.

I'm waving goodbye my 'teen years-old now. It's 20. Twenty, 2-0, 2.0.

By now, should I say, it doesn't actually mean anything. Just as Kylie said recently (though she was talking about the 40's), when I'm finally 20 I'll be doing exactly the same I'm doing now I'm still 19.
It's just one more day, a dawn like all the other 365 of this year... Isn't it?

Well, not that hard... It's nice having a day to call special, don't you think?

There actually is a bit of excitement and anticipation inside me now.
And loads, loads of worries.
I've spent the last few weeks expecting hard for something I've been told that would come. Things, however, just don't seem to be stepping towards my expectations.

It's much of an old dream, something I guess most people have, and there has finally been a distant, yet genuine sight of it eventually coming true, but today it all seemed to be farther and farther. God!

Hope, then, that whatever comes to me tomorrow, it's all nice and good-feelin'. Yep, should I add, I've actually come to the conclusion that your birthday doesn't necessarily mean your lucky day.
Colourful expectations is all there is, what is sweet enough, I'd say!

Ok, this are my much-in-a-hurry last words while being a teen – PQP!
Tomorrow I'll be over these 1-dot-something years, and ready to make a brilliant way through my own 2.0 brand new phase :)

- LOL! Let me have my fantasies, my special day ;D

Cheers, dearest reader!