Thursday, 25 March 2010

Trip diaries

-- sorry about the delay. x

Early January, 2010.

Festivities were over. My foremost mission to the last five years finally and beautifully accomplished.
A new title and - going a bit over-the-top - a new person.

On the other hand, last months had been somewhat too much for me to take and recent events had proven this quite right. I was becoming a self hazard. I was needing a time to rest and rescue myself from all that insanity.

Time to hit the road and go to places magical enough to make my days brighter again.

There was some pressure, though. Would I even manage to get there? I was confident, but a bit astonished.

But there was I. On the lead.
How amazing would be seeing such a scene a couple of years ago?
And for a first-timer, things went exceptionally better than expected.

Long hours later, the paradise was smiling at us.

A beautiful tone of blue all over, created by a sun that shone so bright and fiercely that any colour reached an unprecedented level of vivacity, of life and intensity.

Amazing to face it again. Even more amazing to provide it to her - pretty much the reason I’m doing it all.

Walking on the coast, feeling the cleaning and healing power of the water wash away all the negativity I could offer to it.

Let’s take a walk, let’s wander around, enjoying ourselves and leaving the worries far behind for a moment or two.

And facing the sky through the brown lens of some occasional cheap sunglasses, I was feeling happy, with a sense of accomplishment, and truly, truly beautiful.

Walking alone, however, takes some faith.

And so I knew.
For the first time I felt proper.

Time to get out in the summer rain. Time to go in for the kill.

Now close your eyes and just feel the breeze.
How many stares?
How many nights?
How many breaths?
How many fingertips on a nearly untouched skin?

And the sea became the most beautiful background to some of the most thrilling and rules-breaking moments of one’s life - not to mention some of the freakiest moments, in details I simply couldn’t mention.

Some days later, a nearby city.
And, still, I was managing it all with an unknown mastery.

A long night walk on the longer sand field, drinking some coconut water.
Heading into an unknown trail, just to reveal some of the most beautiful views one could wish.
A neighbour and narrowly frequented piece of sea. A nearly virgin paradise, and we were free to be ourselves, never worried about some curious stares.

Time to wave Neptune goodbye.

Part two of the adventures were located on that astounding and much loved (by me) metropolis.
The town and the people with the power to make me breath life again.

Thrilling moments, I guess.

And then I kept giving into my thrills, getting increasingly more underground.

So to a side street. What a devil beside me.
What do we have to offer?
Blink your lights, give a sign of your availability.

A car stopped by. After that, I can only remember flashes of the sure most underground moment of my life.
The little devil, oh the devil... Had it all planned, but forgotten much of the essential, going absolutely nuts right after.
Such a despair that would get me losing my mind just as much.
How could I forget about such a primary lesson?
And then, my so-planned joyous and relaxing times seemed to be drowned and irremediably wasted.

Driving alone on those dark and mostly unknown streets never ever felt so absolutely painful and anguishing.
A late night time to forget, but ever so hardly... This anguish will accompany me for a time to come... God bless me.

Meanwhile, she, my reason, was going worse and worse, with a growing pain that, to my own desolation, only seemed to reflect her knowing, by a spiritual boundary or whatever, how bad things could go on with me.

On the following day, I was feeling dirty and hopeless.
Feeling ashamed and with a strong despair, making the world twist around randomly.

Time, however, for the scheduled rendezvous.
And so there was that angelical creature, an old friend. Such a mixture of good feelings and a very positive aura. Someone I needed closer to me any time of the year.
A few hours later, a small miracle inside me. How can that friend make me feel so much better?

And thus, calmly and friendly, my pumping and intense-going vacations would end.

When departure time arrived, I was feeling a bit better, ready to leave the dirtiness behind.

The homecoming felt actually much lighter and funny.

Last stop, must I comment, in a small city where we’d become celebrities for no particular reason -- how amazingly weird could that be?
Laughing, enjoying the view and eventually getting safely home.

This vacations did give me amazing moments and, yes, so much of the dark clouds on my mind vanished completely.
Still, that anguish keeps hinting me that not everything went fine.

Hope I can get rid of it soon and finally take the whole adventure as a nice addition to my experience and a very - very - important lesson learnt.

But, well, back home, life is ready to start off again.
It’s a new phase.

I’m feeling good and ready to enjoy my future.

Yes, 2010 may now begin.