Thursday, 1 July 2010

Maybe, May not be

Back in early May, as this very blog would show you with unbeatable clarity, a wild lonely heart crossed countries to go after some comfort, some domestication and some sleep.

It may have been successful, I guess, can’t remember clearly anymore.

So many smiles, so many unique moments of pure joy, them all lying along that too short weekend.

Oh Lord… It feels like many years have passed since…

Back to my everyday personal martyrdom, the light that those joyful hours cast on my life lasted only for so long.

It was like waking up from a sweet dream, trying to figure out what a marvellous chapter to my life had just been written. And finished.

Time is money, they say. The more you get, the more you want, may I add.
Sometimes, you’re just not worthy enough.

The clock ticks, your heart beats.
And you’re lost.

May and June became such a period of shattered heart, crying anguish and despair.

My productivity ran low, which doubles, triples, multiplies to infinity the damages.

I had to go hunting. I felt allowed to do so.
No big preys.

But, as some sort of light to a dark storm, a quite called-for call – sorry for the cacophony.
Driving on a cold night and then I was on that rather empty apartment.

A lonesome wolf I found in front of me and I was ready to be beaten. Or wasn’t?...

“I’m not one of those”, I said.

And I’m really not.
I shan’t wait for no call back.

All this sums how bitter my personal year is finishing on the heart matters.
Some candy was found, of course. But still, rather bitter.

And while writing this, I made a break, to cross the lines again, with a dearest friend.

Many smiles. Quite a few hours of conversation, to a hyper caloric ice cream, as cold as the weather itself – but still as delighting as her presence.

Guess this is the sweetest end June could have.

Let July start, let a new age begin.