Wednesday 1 June 2011

Experiments

And the time had come. Finally. At last.

My life had been left purely on the shelf of oblivion while the clock was slowly ticking.

The experiment was coming.

Every detail (that I could think of or handle at least) organized and then we were all set, headed into the always-unknown metropolis that lays hidden in the end of that road.

As the long straight way was reached, the city blossomed beautifully in front of us, as normal. With it, all the fear and the anticipation - especially on the fierce lady beside me.

On the green boulevard, we found the spot where we would stay for a while.
Smiles waiting.

Night felt and I was there, in the best of companies, waving goodbye to what seemed, at that point, to be an ending era.
"No chocolate tonight", I thought. I didn't want the dinner experience to be fulfilling, as to maintain intact the sense of 'there's more yet to come'.

Every moment was being carefully photographed by my retinae. Acting as poetical and dramatic as normal, I was fearing those could be irreplaceable memories.

Now the precise moment was coming, and we were all eager for it.
Sitting on those comfortable yet frightening little couches, watching any random news about any random death or tragedy, hearing biased comments given by a snobbish upper class woman in the room.
Time would not pass, it seemed.

I was called in several times.
A few blue scratches and I was ready to go.

Bright lights shining and then time stropped. And jumped hours forward.

We're done.

As soft as a breeze it passed through, and I was, well, pretty alive I'd say.

Now sit back, relax, enjoy it.

--

A new dawn.

For an entire month it feels like I have been sleeping, it seems.

Idle times, lazy times.

Time ticking off so slowly, so damn slowly.

My mind was inexorably taken over by the most ludicrous bunch of nonsense it could come up with.
Well nonsense that is? I could not quite say so.

When you are stuck in a non-move situation, your mind will eventually burst out the ache to fly.
A hectic life cannot stay for very long in this abrupt absence of emotion. Movement is indeed needed and any boredom feeling will therefore be shaken off by your thoughts, sending themselves as far away as your understanding might try to follow.

You engage fighting, you engage mental tricks, you engage plans change.

What am I doing here?

Incomprehension, sadness, insecurity, all them nagging feelings that also come in the same bag.
More importantly at this moment, you look yourself in the mirror and you are not quite pleased by what you see.
Satisfaction lies way ahead.

Several days I could have dedicated to some more productive activities, but no. I gave my time to an uncontrolled thinking, to a poorly led thought experiment that ended up being ridiculously shallow.
All I have is a full package of blurred images of what seemed to be my desires - and my absolute inability to chase after them at this very moment.

That is, perhaps, frightening, terrifying. Then you might choose to just put it all aside and keep living a more comfortable life.
This, my friends, is what separates big achievers from flimsy, null individuals.

Which group do I want to belong?

So many days and drama after, I am ready to be back, I guess.

Not absolutely sure, however, if I am absolutely ready to read my future and set it all apart.

Must I add, no sadness is involved. At all.
There is this smile in my face and I am keen to see what waits on the road.

After this month full of experiments, physical and mental experiments, figures have changed slightly, all building up to the world looking appealing for a change.

I might be being quite a bit silly or naïve, but I am just a youngster who has tasted too little of the world after all.


Life goes on.


Smile, dear reader, smile.
For the future has just begun.

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