Fast
breathing, when our hands held, our heads stuck together and I'd be told not to
stop.
I made sure
you'd feel every inch.
You
wouldn't make sure I'd feel anything at all.
I did
anyway.
So many
hopes and expectations that, amongst the flowers and stings, a new flame would
burn and a new you would outburst.
As the time
passed, my hunger grew faster and I let my heart melt unconsciously,
inconsequently, soon to be involved in the spikey branches of Audrey II.
You may
name me Seymour; I had built my very own little shop of horrors.
Feeling
suffocated and in despair, I ran on to strive for some relief on the mazy corridors
of the Le Velvet Art Gallery at St. Mercy's St., no number, so I could get some
fresh air on my lungs.
Step after
step, shenanigan after shenanigan, I felt unattached and distant, fed up with
the ice and complete lack of any attempts to boost up the innermost devices of
me.
On that
cold night, I was touching the rigid skin of a deceased person.
On that
cold night, I felt like a necrophile.
On that
cold night, I called it quits.
For the
following minutes, hours, days, there was just mess inside my head. My vision
was misty. The skies were blurry.
It was time
to escape.
On a search
for peace and entertainment, I marched southwards, to the silver sea.
In there, I
was welcome by the warmest embrace of a good friend, who guided me through the
Old City, where the antique meets the modern and the life seems to have
bettered up a notch.
Running
along the long beachfront sidewalk, I found my to reflect and reassure myself.
I was once
again sure of my feelings and what sacrificed it would cost.
There was
no doubt inside me.
The sun
blessed our way. Turmoil and storm, however, awaited me on the way back home,
facing me in the very road that took me back.
After such a
delayed return, I found that, whilst I was strolling throughout the East shore,
a wall was being constructed, as tall as the Empire State.
I
eventually faced it.
It was a
fortress.
I knocked
on any random brick.
This conversation's over, I heard.
And for the
very first time, I realized. It's gone.
No matter
how much I punched it, the wall would not even tremble or display any sign of
weakness, to my dismay, to my disgrace, to my utter agony.
From
instant lovers to enemies. Something had been severed.
As the
tension went unbearable, we both decided to part ways, on a decision that, yet
again, seemed temporary to me.
And then,
the wrong night out, just to get me suffocated.
As the
dated 1990s dance beat starts to play, a lover digs deeper into the grave.
Friends
become foes.
The
"best" is scratched from "best pals".
I didn't
quite know what exactly had annoyed me. All I knew is that I was profoundly
annoyed for sure.
Inside my
chest, silent screams of pain.
And behind
that imposing fortress, as enormous as the Great Wall of China, lays the one
you love, cold as ice, broken into millions of ice cubes.
You can't
keep fighting for it, as your strength is lost. Your dignity is lost.
Everything that you believe is lost.
Two halves
of a perfect match, broken, unable to patch themselves into unity again.
And as the
feeling is drowning in the waters of the storm, I lull myself to sleep in dry
tears.
My love is
dead. My lover has long deceased.
Even though
I never thought I could kiss the dead.
I'm in love
with a corpse.
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