Impossible friends

And my life keeps going on great craziness.

My last weeks have been the very same blend of responsibility, accumulated obligations, burning stress and a recurrent aching to run away from everything. Absolutely normal.

And accompanying it all, comes the face of the former ray of light – now much more of a boring shadow – insisting to make its way to very bottom of my heart.
This time, a trial, just a trial – an amazing opportunity to finally see from the defence side of the story. Although I'd prefer to be impartial, I confess that I've always considered the prosecution side much more interesting and comfortable at all. I always tend towards the accusation. Now, this could be my opportunity to actually feel the opposing side, and genuinely want it to win.

Not everything, however, is that simple. If I go, I shall have to face every single danger and emergency state I've feared and repelled for quite a considerable time.
I'm afraid to say that I'm in transition, in the middle of two distinct and opposing phases of one's life. This is rather weird to be happening in this portion of the year, when the world is spinning faster and working massively. I've always planned such things to happen on the slowed down and chilled out summer. But good things just come; they don't warn, they don't choose when, they just come.
And since I'm living quite a good transition time, I don't actually want to be seen until I feel ready, until I feel proper.
I've planned a shock, I've planned a despising smile, I've planned my opportunity to overturn the table.
If I come to undesired eyes, it'd be just like giving the whole game away. No, that's not desirable.

So, looking forward advices to come from a good friend.

Good friends, bad friends. Poor friends, bourgeois friends. Possible friends, impossible friends.

I've been living quite good moments with people I'd normally consider impossible to have any further contact with. Basically, time and situations tend to bring similar people together.
Not that we're alike... We're actually incredibly different. But we have ideas, we have plans and we have one another's enthusiasm and, I'd say, unquestionable loyalty.
Then, an older friend. "Have you seen what your bourgeois friend did to me?" "So you're neutral? You play in her side? Let it be! Wait till she makes a play on you!"

My pride claims it's jealously; me and this old friend are quite much like brothers from different families. If only he knew how much I love our brotherhood and how much I respect him... But I can't help but wonder "what if he's right?"

Something pretty much like that happened few years ago. Fucking déjà-vu.

Impossibility, impossibility...

Much more interesting, however, the words thrown at me this afternoon.

Less than a couple of months ago, we were just two persons in two distinct – very distinct – positions.
I owed respect. I was owed instruction.
A cold relationship and a warm heart finding a petrified mate. Positions changed.

Drawing an acquaintance during a silly practice on the day of Saturno.

Confessions of close friends on the day of the Moon.
Moon. My astral sign.

Oh, dear, how I wish you knew...
Life's worth none of your tears.
Life's worth none of your worries.
Life's worth none of your despair moments.

Life's worth your happiness, that's a greatest truth.

Just let your heart speak.
Just let the sun walk in.
Just let the foreigner air soar into you.
Just let your inner light shine through every pour of your young skin.

Youth. Shall it never come again.