Close to a farewell

And here I am, with glitter still on my brain, but that's not important.

Wed I've been aware of the worst: I'd have to say goodbye. No, it was not unexpected. Actually, I already knew it'd happen. I just never prepared myself for such a situation.

The light turned off for a small time. And from the moment darkness came, and still now, I've lost my way on the undergrounds.
I've been desperately running on dark and dangerous streets I can't see the end. There's no one around. Just me, running, running, running. Going to no particular place.

Nothing's been nice since then. Even working has been rather tough and unproductive. I can't think of anything else. Every sound, every sight, every little thing reminds me of my ray of light.

On the other hand, I couldn't help but being happy that at least someone would go out of this situation happy and fully satisfied. I'm not the only one with feelings and wishes; I need to consider the others, and I really do.
"Your happiness makes mine". That's the biggest truth... And the biggest lie. There's not a thing able to erase my sorrow... Isn't there?

Anyway,
Day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, I feel my life and my joy slipping away.
I feel all my hope being sacrificed. I feel parts of me dying.

I'm begging, supplicating, gasping.

There's a farewell on its way. There's a lonesome Christmas by the next corner.

Though professionally I couldn't be better (and I deeply thank God for so many professional blesses), I can't avoid myself of deliriously thinking about these (foolish) emotional issues of mine.