Heart, Soul, Mind, Peace

The day finally came. Eventually scheduled, the farewell, the eternal farewell.

I wasn't sure of anything, and I still ain't.

The right time, the right phone calls, the right anxiety and bubbling nerves. And there was my dearest ray of light, gorgeous as never.

Everything went quite fine. I had many gifts to give, but only the materialism would triumph in the end, and I knew that. Silly moments at an occasional place, silly conversations, silly stares, silly requests – money-can't-buy condition, what else would I ever want?
And then a long car ride. Anywhere was the right place, as long as it took forever to end.
That's when I see how my emotions eventually help me – for very quick and superficial instants I remembered how absurdly important these few moments were. Sometimes I am quite cold, and that's how, I guess, I'm still alive.

Finally, a cold goodbye. Everything depending of me was intense, warm, heartfelt, heartful. But the glowing ray of light wasn't aware of how important everything was. That's a sad point.

Then, my light was gone, taking my heart on a piece of paper, what would make every little thing clear. It was the final farewell, the eternal farewell.

Everything was (still is) hurting me incredibly bad. And that's why I made a decision: every single thing, every frustration, every piece of joy, every deception, every single feeling, it would all remain as a creeping memory... Of the past. This was all clearly explained on the letter my little ray of light was taking. This letter was nothing but a blend of my heart, my soul, my mind and my reason. And I thought about every word I'd written as I saw my light quickly fading away...

The light was turned off.

After that, only a quite long sincere virtual conversation. Not that I was quite sure, but everything went clear, and I know that the pair of zeroes would never change. I made my final move.

Goodbye, my love. You still live in the deepest venues of my heart, but I ought to forget you. For the good of me, for the good of you, for the good of everyone. For I'm worth of the happiness you refused to give me.

And that's how it ended.
I'm going my own lonely way, as always.
My heart is bruised, my hopes dead, my life messy and confuse. But it's just a question of time until I overgrow it all.

Anyway...

Dearest memory of my past... I hope you're fine.